I spoke to a friend today. She was telling me how she was recovering from some illness, I won't go specific on this. But, she still seemed down and I asked if she was feeling well in her spirit. She said, "No. I have had a lot of doubt and anger. I have had a lot of self pity and questions and just flat out lack of faith. I don't know what to make of it. I just get so frustrated and angry that I don't know what to do."
At this moment, I was not sure what I was supposed to do or say. She called, she needed me. I just didn't know what she needed from me. I never know what to say to someone that is in this type of valley. I will share with you what I told her.
"You must understand that no one can strong faith all of the time. Our love for God is not even flow. There are times when we are ecstatic in our relationship with God and others when we just feel disconnected. This is perfectly human. In everything there is up and down. Everything.
Our faith today is not the same faith as when we were children, or even in our 20s and 30s. We can't expect our faith to stay the same forever. We can expect change in perceptions. We can expect to grow closer to or farther from God this way. We just have to learn to discern meaning behind our lives and events. This is hard because many times we choose the selfish view of life, not the holy generous view of it."
I explained my own relationship with God and how I go in and out of boredom and passion on a yearly basis. I don't beat myself up over it. Some things are out of my control.
I then told her that she didn't need to have perfect faith, that I would carry her faith for her. She should just heal up an get well. She can be angry if she wants, she can even walk away from her faith and come back to it later if she wants. She can take a break from christian perfectionism and just be human for a little while. She has the benefit of "human" God that understands perfectly well the feeling of being forsaken.
I told her to be sure to communicate and go to her spouse for support. She must not ignore her spouse in this. It matters and it will effect the relationship.
I wish I had know this would be sent my way. I hope I said the right things. Sometimes, I wonder why people tell me things.
